Coping With Cancer

Facing cancer may be overwhelming. After finding out they have cancer, some people experience a period of mourning or grieving for the loss of their health, as well as stress and anxiety over the uncertainty of their future. This process is different from the illness called depression. However, if mourning and anxiety continue for months after treatment ends, counseling may be helpful.

There are other ways to cope with the stress and fear associated with cancer. With education and supportive care, you will be able to deal with the diagnosis and treatment of your cancer.

Stress Stressors

Stress Signals

• Chronic illness
• Uncertainty of future
• Unpredictability of disease
• Disability
• Financial difficulties

• Disturbed sleep
• Fatigue
• Body aches
• Pain
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Tension
• Headaches

How can I make my life better?
The most important step you can take is to seek help as soon as you feel less able to cope. (See "What types of help are available?" below). Taking action early will enable you to understand and deal with the many effects of your chronic illness. Learning to manage stress will help you maintain a positive physical, emotional, and spiritual outlook on life.

1. Reduce stress
When you are facing cancer, stress can build up and affect how you feel about life. Prolonged stress can lead to frustration, anger, hopelessness and, at times, depression. The person with cancer is not the only one affected. Family members also are influenced by the ongoing health changes of a loved one with cancer. Here are some tips for reducing stress:

• Keep a positive attitude.
• Accept that there are events you cannot control.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. "Assert" your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, combative, or passive.
• Learn to relax.
• Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when you are physically fit.
• Eat well-balanced meals.
• Rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
• Don’t rely on alcohol or drugs to reduce stress.

2. Learn to relax
There are a number of exercises that you can do to relax. These exercises include breathing, muscle and mind relaxation; relaxation to music; and biofeedback. A few that you can try are listed below. First, be sure that you have a quiet location that is free of distractions. Try to find a comfortable body position. Sit or recline on a chair or sofa. Also, have a good state of mind. Try to block out worries and distracting thoughts.

Two-minute relaxation—Switch your thoughts to yourself and your breathing. Take a few deep breaths, exhaling slowly. Mentally scan your body. Notice areas that feel tense or cramped. Quickly loosen up these areas. Let go of as much tension as you can. Rotate your head in a smooth, circular motion once or twice. (Stop any movements that cause pain.) Roll your shoulders forward and backward several times. Let all of your muscles completely relax. Recall a pleasant thought for a few seconds. Take another deep breath and exhale slowly. You should feel relaxed.

Mind relaxation—Close your eyes. Breathe normally through your nose. As you exhale, silently say to yourself the word "one," a short word such as "peaceful" or a short phrase such as "I feel quiet." Continue for 10 minutes. If your mind wanders, gently remind yourself to think about your breathing and your chosen word or phrase. Let your breathing become slow and steady.

Deep breathing relaxation—Imagine a spot just below your navel. Breathe into that spot and fill your abdomen with air. Let the air fill you from the abdomen up, then let it out, like deflating a balloon. With every long, slow breath out, you should feel more relaxed. 

3. Understand medical information
Do not be afraid to ask your doctor, nurse or other health care provider to repeat any instructions or medical terms that you don’t understand. Your health care providers always are available to answer your questions and address your concerns.

Make use of resources and support services offered by your hospital and in the community. Learning more about your disease will help you feel more comfortable with your treatment.

Ask your family and friends to help you sort through the information you receive.

Talk with other patients and families about cancer and its treatment. 

What types of help are available?
There are many sources of help available to provide support for patients and their families. Among them are:

1. Social workers
Social workers are just one part of the care-giving team who can offer treatment in a compassionate setting. Social workers are available to you and your family to discuss any concerns you may have about your diagnosis and treatment or your personal situation.

Social workers can provide education, counseling regarding lifestyle changes, and referrals to community or national agencies and support groups. Your social worker also can help your family find temporary lodging in your community, provide information about community resources, and help you with any other needs.

2. Individual counseling
Sometimes people have problems that are better addressed in a one-on-one atmosphere. By participating in individual counseling, you may more effectively express sensitive or private feelings you have about your illness and its impact on your lifestyle and relationships.

Counseling services can help patients and families:

• Discuss issues of concern
• Develop and enhance coping abilities
• Gain a sense of control
• Enjoy a quality of life

In addition, mental health care providers are available to create a treatment plan to meet your specific needs. Strategies can be designed to help you regain a sense of control over your life and improve your quality of life – something everyone deserves. At times, if depression is present, medications other than those treating your cancer may be prescribed.

3. Support groups
Support groups are a very useful sharing experience. They provide an environment in which you can learn new ways of dealing with your illness.

Sometimes, others who have been through similar experiences can explain things differently than can your health care providers. You also may want to share approaches you have discovered with others. You also will gain strength in knowing that you are not facing hardships alone.

Remember that others may share information or experiences that do not apply to you. Never replace another patient’s advice with the advice provided from your doctor.

4. Other services
The American Cancer Society offers a variety of services – including financial counseling – to help cancer patients. Call the Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345 for more information. A financial counselor is available to answer any questions you may have about financial issues related to your medical care.

Quality of life issues
Advance directives, such as living wills and durable power of attorney for health care, are special documents that describe your wishes regarding your medical care.

• A living will exercises a patient’s right to refuse or accept medical treatment that artificially prolongs his or her life. This document is prepared while the patient is fully competent, in case he or she becomes unable to make this decision at a later time. The living will provides clear instructions regarding the patient’s choice of extended medical care.
• The durable power of attorney for health care is the right of patients to appoint another person to speak for them if they become incapable of expressing their medical treatment preference. An attorney should create this document so that it conforms with state laws and other legal regulations.

In addition, consider writing a will. While no one likes to think about their own mortality, everyone should have a will to ensure that that those who survive you will know how to carry out your wishes. This document should be prepared with your attorney. 

Information for family and friends
The diagnosis and treatment of cancer is a time of stress and may be difficult for family and friends. Here are some tips for the family and friends of someone diagnosed with cancer:

• Feel free to ask the doctor questions if you accompany your loved one to his or her appointments.
• Be prepared for changes in your loved one’s behavior and mood. Medications, discomforts, and stress can cause your loved one to become depressed or angry.
• Encourage your loved one to be active and independent, as much as possible, to help him or her regain a sense of self-reliance and confidence.
• Be realistic about your own needs. Be sure you are sleeping enough, eating properly, and taking some time off for yourself. It is hard to offer much help when you are exhausted. If you take care of your needs, it may be easier to meet the needs of your loved one.
• Don’t hesitate to ask other family members and friends for help. They will appreciate the opportunity to help.